DrunkTrader.com

Union Negotiations Heat Up

Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman

Sincere Words Of Congratulations On Your Wedding Day

Congratulations to all involved in this train wreck. "Honey! It is your big day! By all means, show more cleavage!"

Pathetic Obama Supporters Have No Reason To Live

I guess they can kill time waiting for the next government check.

 I am still down on The Rock (Cayman Islands to the chumps). I may stay gone the whole 4 years, especially if my man at Big Daddy Liquors can start importing The Balvenie Scotch.

 Happy trading suckers. If I am going to burn cash I want to burn my liver in the process. Vaya Con Dios.

Der Kommissar's In Town, uh-oh

She was singin'
Don't turn around, uh-oh
Der Kommissar's in town, uh-oh
You're in his eye
And you'll know why
The more you live
The faster you will die

McCain Strong In Early Exit Polls

Senator John McCain is showing strong support among people who are being polled while exiting the Drunktrader compound. 

Granted, I have plied them with booze and shellfish and subliminal insinuations that Obama hates Capitalists and Capitalism.

Nevertheless, this is indicative of a building tide of momentum for McCain.

McCain/Palin shock the world tomorrow....or some time in 85 days after the recounts, lawsuits, and riots.

Why McCain Will Win

I am just a drunken gambler investor, who in actual terms has very little at stake in this game.

Sure I don't want Obama to further erode the pillars of Capitalism, seize my toys, and make my female sidekicks sober up and get real jobs.  However, my existence is rather meaningless in comparison to Americans who are truly sacrificing for the good of us all.

The media wants us to believe that we are now a country populated by the angry, the entitled, and the bitter. 

Nothing could be further from the truth.


America will speak on 10-4 and rebuke the policies of surrender and class warfare.

Obama Infomercial Advice: Copy Tom Vu

Barrack Obama is desperate.  That is why he is taking to the airwaves tonight to pitch his get rich quick scheme to the American people.  Like many other scam artists before him, he knows that infomercials are a great way to reach the lazy, drunk, and disaffected. 

If Senator Obama is smart he will take a page from the legendary Tom Vu and bust out some bikini clad babes.

Vu knows that a little sugar makes the medicine go down better.

Obama's plan is more poison than medicine so he best double down on the thongs and bikinis or his audience will quickly become hypoglycemic.

Gas Prices = Pleasure At The Pump

I paid $2.97 a gallon at a Shell station in Burbank, California this morning.  Of course the doomsday media only reports "pain at the pump", but the recent dramatic decline in gasoline prices is leading to pump island pleasure throughout Southern California.

News Reporter Mayhem

Compilation of Reporters Getting Owned - Watch more News Videos All sorts of chaos, mayhem, and hi jinks as news reporters encounter the unexpected during television live spots.

Panda Opens 401(k) Statement