DrunkTrader.com

Citizens To Wall Street Traders....."Go Ahead & Jump"

      Credit to whomever designed this brilliant photographic commentary that is making the rounds.              Here at the DrunkTrader headquarters we are more inclined to engage in a different kind of jump and unlike David Lee Roth our Jack Daniels bottles actually contain Jack Daniels.

Rosh Hashanah With Alan Greenspan

When Alan Greenspan blows the Shofar do bubbles come out?

From Tina Bockrath's hometown paper.......Rosh Hashanah, commonly referred to as the Jewish New Year, begins at sundown Monday, Sept. 29, and ends at nightfall on Wednesday, Oct. 1.

In Jewish tradition, it is a time for members of the faith to review the mistakes of the past year and resolve to make improvements in the next.

"It's the day of judgment," said Rabbi Hillel Fox of Beth Jacob Synagogue, 7020 N. Main St. "It's the holy day where all humanity are judged by God and therefore Rosh Hashanah is of utmost significance in Jewish tradition."

Stock Market Panic

Panic and program selling is rocking Wall Street after the House failed to pass the current "bailout" package.

The vote was 207 for vs. 226 against when the official voting time for the plan expired.  However, House leadership hasn't officially closed the voting.

Presumably those who have so far abstained from voting are currently weighing compensation packages containing both financial and sexual favors prior to rendering their decisions. 

US Mint Runs Out Of Gold

It appears that so many investors are fleeing the paper markets in search of the safety of hard assets such as gold that the US mint cannot keep up with demand and is subsequently suspending sales.

Story on http://Gold-Market.org/

Henry Paulson On His Knees

Henry Paulson literally got on his knees before those bastards in the Democratic leadership.

Instead, the summit broke up so bitterly that Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson got on one knee before Democratic leaders in a theatrical attempt to salvage talks. (more)

Repeal FAS 157 & Sarbanes-Oxley

The carcinogen that caused this economic malignancy is based in "mark to market" accounting.

Blame the shenanigans of that bastard Andy Fastow and his minions at Enron.

The cure is often worse than the disease and the Sarbanes-Oxley Act is a shining example of governmental overshot.

Instead of repealing Sarbanes-Oxley to prevent capital fight to foreign markets, Congress it apt to give it more teeth.  Unfortunately for American corporations and investors these teeth are aimed indiscriminately and will continue to spread economic rabies throughout the system.

Barack Obama Is Economically Illiterate

Lest we forget Barack's Obama's personal finances were in such disarray a mere eight years ago that he had difficulty renting a car at LAX.  My Guatemalan housekeeper could rent a car at LAX and she is addicted to Vicodin.

From New York TImes.....

He (Obama) persuaded a clerk at the car rental agency to overlook the unpaid balance on his credit card, and he made his way to the festivities.

Barack Obama is an economic illiterate.  Any economic legislation that he authors should be signed with a large "X" just like Johnny Cash in The Pride Of Jesse Hallam.

Obama should stay the hell away from these "bail out" negotiations.  He is an anathema to any sort of realistic discourse as it pertains to economics.

Obama's only economic policies are that of class envy, wealth confiscation, and the subsequent redistribution thereof.  He holds 120 million American investors in contempt and hopes to financially sodomize them at every turn.

What this neophyte fails to recognize is that capital flight can occur before he and his cronies can clip the wings of Free Enterprise.

More Sexy Sarah Palin Pictures

Here are a few more pictures of Sarah Palin, the woman who destroyed Barack Obama's life.

VIX Spells Party Time

I remember when a trader was a go-getter.........

The VIX (fear index for neophytes) jumped up to 42 today, the highest level since 2002.

This market does not require crystal balls, it requires steel ones.

The DrunkTrader team is meeting tonight on the boat in MDR.  We have three bottles of Del Maguey Mezcal, two cases of Shiner Bock, and ten pounds of abalone.  Amid top shelf boozing and snacking on high end shellfish we plan to come up with a shopping list for this market.

Stay tuned.

Erin Andrews Misses Out On Fun

The DrunkTrader staff was representing at the USC game on Saturday night when my assistant Ginger pointed out that ESPN babe Erin Andrews was working the sideline a stones throw from our section.

With an empty Bota Bag of Chivas influencing our decision making it became apparent that Erin Andrews would be a perfect addition to our dinner party at The Palm later that evening.  I then dispatched Ginger to bribe the security guard to take a cell phone to Ms. Andrews.  She quickly returned without accomplishing the mission so I peeled off another Ben Frank in order to convince the guard it was in his best interest to assist us in our chaos.  Ginger was once again rebuked.  This unprecedented series off events has lead me to believe that Erin Andrews in one of the most elusive females on the planet. 

We will develop a new game plan prior to March Madness.