DrunkTrader.com

Maria Bartiromo: Money Honey Cleavage

It seems that CNBC's Maria Bartiromo has recently taken to wearing more coats than Don Imus.  That is a crying shame because she possesses assets other than her market knowledge.  Check the visual evidence in this gallery.

Barbara West...American Hero

In an election cycle where the media is constantly queuing up to perform political fellatio on Barrack Obama and his surrogates, Barbara West of WFTV in Orlando, Florida is a champion of truth and fairness.

Obama and company are so accustomed to the media acting as their co-conspirators in the perpetuation of lies and propaganda that they are flabbergasted when an interviewer deviates from their script.

Joe Biden is at his breaking point.  Either Biden or Bill Clinton will derail the Obama campaign with their comments in the coming 10 days.  They may be Liberal Democrats but neither Biden or Clinton are Marxists.  Obama is a Marxist and he is attempting to stage the largest coup in the history of the world.

Riots After Obama Loses Election

We have a "Black Owned" sign up the the front window of Drunktrader HQ so we are not particularly worried about being looted after McCain defeats Obama.  If that doesn't work there is always the Benelli backup. 

Some of these ridiculous polls may lead the naive to think otherwise, but Obama has not sealed up this election.  He still just has the tip in and cannot convince the majority of the electorate to accept his entire package.  Despite months of sweet talk and grandiose promises, he still does not have an adequate amount of lubrication from the average voter.  Independent and moderate Obama supporters could snap their legs shut at any moment.

The media is making the public believe that Obama is unbeatable.  They said the same thing about the New England Patriots. 

Investors & Traders React To Global Stock Market Meltdown

Exclusive video of the physical and psychological toll that the stock market decline is inflicting on traders and investors.

Jodi Miller Brings The Funny & The Hotness

Fox News has too many pundits who have jumped into the Barack Obama daisy chain.  Is the entire media spectrum now in the tank for the Senator from Illinois by way of Hawaii by way of Indonesia?

Perhaps.

But the good folks at News Busted aren't falling for the hype, hysteria, and racial guilt.

Check out the lovely Jodi Miller as she serves up comedy gold for right thinking Americans.

Lindsey Evans Miss Teen Louisiana Is Smoking Hot!

A smoking hot 18-year-old chick named Lindsey Evans has been stripped of her crown after being busted for an alleged dine-n-dash incident.  The blond vixen and three friends reportedly skipped out on a $46.07 dinner bill at a local area restaurant.  The real trouble began for Miss Teen Lindsey Evans when she returned to fetch her forgotten handbag.  Upon her arrival, Bossier City law enforcement officers were ready to pounce.  The local law men had cracked the caper wide open by finding Miss Teen's identification inside of her forgotten purse.  As an added bonus they also allegedly discovered what the kids refer to as "sticky icky".  Miss Teen Lindsay Evans was then locked up for marijuana possession and theft.

Since Team Drunktrader has deemed the current stock market "untradeable", we are spending most of our days drinking beers (Grolsch today), and killing time.  Therefore we are able to bring you this photographic tribute to our new favorite former Miss Teen Louisiana, Lindsey Evans.

Barney Frank Wants To Punish Success

Rep. Frank: "Yes, I believe later on there should be tax increases. Speaking personally, I think there are a lot of very rich people out there whom we can tax at a point down the road and recover some of this money."(CNBC's "Closing Bell," 10/20/08)

GoGo Boots & Free Cocktails

My hellish aviation experience this weekend left me longing for the glory days of air travel.  Back in the 70s Southwest Airlines featured stewardesses who wore sexy gogo boots and poured stiff cocktails.  Today "flight attendants" treat me with contempt and have a light touch with the bottle.

Back in the day a typical male passenger could daydream about engaging in a sexual liaison with a 22 year old stewardess. 

Today they fantasize about disemboweling the 58 year old cooze with the 44 inch waist. 

Times have changed, not always for the better.

Bring back the skirts, the hotties, the booze, and the boots.  That would do more to help the airline industry than $50 a barrel crude oil.

Bioven: Snake Venom Botox

I was drunk at the Dodger game on Wednesday so I didn't get to check out the final Presidential debate as it aired.  Ginger was kind enough to record it for me and I was watching it today as I watched the green and red on my trading screens.

After the debate this moment of pure gold aired on Fox News.

Bioven.......Snake Venom Botox

The commercial speaks for itself.

Things to look for:

"$200 an ounce in California!".......I may have to start smuggling the stuff in the trunk of my Biarritz.

Robin Evans M.D.
"For centuries science has taken what is wild and dangerous in nature and made it beneficial to mankind"

The most disturbing term of the week "crepe paper lips".

Magical Wedding Moments

For the record, I cannot stand weddings.

I think they are a pathetic exercise in narcissism and should be avoided at all costs.  The liquor is usually less than stellar and nothing good can come from me boozing with the rank amateurs that populate these events.

Whenever I receive a wedding invitation I feel violated.  A wedding invitation is nothing more than a flagrant attempt to rape me financially and spoil my weekend.  The shotgun might as well be pointed at me.

Time is a non-renewable resource and I will never get back the 72 hours I wasted in Orlando in 2007.

A wedding invitation also means extra work for my assistant Ginger as she must constantly devise new excuses to explain my absence.  Earlier this year she informed my second cousin that I was under house arrest and not allowed to leave Los Angeles.  That was genius.

Amid the monotony and tedious socializing, weddings can offer brief flashes of spectacular entertainment.  The video above provides a tremendous example of the potential upside of fun that can go down at a wedding.

If you are forced to attend a wedding I suggest you either fake your own death or hope for an "incident" like the one in the video.

Good luck ya'll.